"You're Free, Little One..."

This little bird flew in the house when the guys were bringing in firewood a few days ago, and when I caught it and brought it back outside the next morning, it didn't want to fly away. It kept clinging to my fingers and looking around. I told the bird that it was free, so it should just let go and fly away. It finally seemed to realize it wasn't being held back anymore and flew away, and as it did, I realized that I'm like that bird.

Sometimes I cling to things I shouldn't, like memories or sins, whether from the past or present, and I don't want to let go. God tells me, "It's okay, you're free. Your chains are gone. The hand that oppressed you is lifted away." and I still cling to the bad. I may know it's dangerous, but the world is unknown, so even though it's bad for me to stay there, I don't leave it, because, for the moment at least, it's familiar. And I believe, like that bird, that I'm still stuck, that I can't get away from it.

And when I finally realize I'm really, truly free, not being held in place, not being chained anymore, that's when I spread my wings and fly away from it, letting it go. And the more I think about that little bird, the more I realize I've been that little bird so many times. But by the grace of God, I'm free to fly away, just like my little friend did.

Don't hold onto things when God says you're free to let go of them, that they don't have the power to hold you captive anymore. He freed you for a reason. Spread your wings and find it. He's waiting for you.

Reminders of Struggles From the Past

This past week has been a hard one for me. It seemed like every time I turned around, something was reminding me of mistakes I had made in the past, of things that had hurt me and other people. All week, I fought against the feelings of being worthless, useless, unwanted, unneeded, feeling like just so much trash thrown aside. Like I couldn't be good enough to be used by God. As though I can be "good enough" for God! That's the awesome thing! I don't have to be. Why? Because Jesus was.

Tonight, in the sermon my youth pastor preached to a roomful of teenagers, college students, and a handful of adults, he shared a story from shortly after he became a Christian. In his story, he told us how he had struggled with decisions he had made before he became a Christian and how he felt like his sins had made him dirty and filthy and unusable to God. Until one day he heard someone preaching. They pointed out that God takes all of our sins from all time, all the "not so bad" ones and all the "bad", "super bad" and "unforgivable" sins, and He throws them as far as the east is from the west and remembers them no more. Psalms 103:10-12 says, "He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor regarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."

Isn't that amazing? Our God knows everything we've ever done and thought, every little word or action, and even with as horrible as we may think they are on the "Sin Scale", He forgives them. Every. Single. One.

Gone. Just like that. Faster than we can blink or snap our fingers. Forever gone.

As my youth pastor shared with us tonight, that truth set him free from all the sin that Satan had been bringing up and throwing in his face. From that moment on, when he realized God didn't view him as worthless or unusable because of his sin, but saw only the saving grace of His Son, Jesus Christ, and had thrown every one of those sins to the farthest ends of eternity, my youth pastor was freed from his struggle. In Romans 8:1, we are told, "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Now, the Bible doesn't say that being a Christian is gonna be easy; far from it! But, it does promise us that we won't be given more than we can handle. Maybe we think we can't handle it, but with God's strength holding us up, we are more than conquers. As First Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you be able to endure it." And in Romans 8:37, the Bible says, "But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us."

So on days when Satan is throwing your past in your face, trying to tempt you to go back to your old ways, or telling you that you aren't worth it, you're useless, you're just trash, you're ugly, you'll never amount to anything because of this or that...just remember whose opinion actually counts in the end. And it sure isn't Satan's! God has taken every sin you've ever committed, no matter how bad or unforgivable you think it is, and He's thrown it away and doesn't remember it anymore. As my youth pastor's wife has told me, God has thrown your sins in the Sea of Forgetfulness and posted a "No Fishing" sign. He sees you as pure, clean, and a deeply loved child of His. Don't ever forget that!

In Christ,

Esther Faith

An Absence Explained...And A Hope For The Future

It's been awhile since I did any blogging, much less on this site, as my previous posts testify, but it was suggested to me that I start posting again, so I'm gonna give it a shot and see how it goes.

Just a bit about what has happened since I was last active, and I'll be quiet.

In January 2013, I started my second year of college, and in February of that year, I decided to change my major from English to Criminal Justice. Because I was already in the other classes and partway through the semester, I couldn't switch my schedule around to work with my new major, so in the fall of 2013 and the spring of 2014, I took all of my required Criminal Justice classes.

In May of 2014, I graduated with an Associate in Arts, an Associate in Science, and an Associate in Applied Science in Criminal Justice.

I would continue my schooling through Missouri Baptist University, starting my Bachelor in Criminal Justice in the fall of 2014, and soon to graduate with it on May 3, 2016. In the fall of 2015, however, I started classes to receive a certificate in Computer Forensics, a specialty within the Criminal Justice field that was offered at the local junior college. This certificate will be completed in December of 2016, due to a class--part one of two--which was cancelled this semester.

Rewind back to November of 2013, and my Pappy passed away. That was when I stopped writing. To cope with the pain of losing him, however, I would sometimes write poems, letting everything inside me flow out onto the paper. It helped, some. But I couldn't make myself go back to my books.

Why?

Pappy was my editor, and every time I sat down and tried to work on one of the manuscripts in the Love Blossoms series, I couldn't do it. My writing spirit was broken, shattered when I received the news of Pappy's death. He lived in Arizona with my Grammy, and throughout 2011 and 2012, he edited the first book in the series, Love Blossoms On Snowy Mountain, marking up his proof copy of the book as he found mistakes. He would call every week and tell me what he had caught, and I would correct it.

And for the first time in my life, Pappy wasn't there for me to call and get advice from, or talk about the books or how my math class was going, tell him about the guy I liked, or laugh over memories with. And for the first time, when I sat down with my manuscript for the second book in the series, Love Blossoms On Pine Creek, which Pappy had been an avid supporter of and had wanted to read, I couldn't work on it. I sat there and bawled like a baby.

To this day, I've been able to occasionally go back to those manuscripts and do a few little things, like read a part of one or do some editing on a few paragraphs of another, but I haven't had the heart to even continue writing that series, or stick with the editing until at least a part of it was done. I've started numerous short stories, but never finished a single one.

I'm hoping to be able to go back to the Love Blossoms series eventually, but I'm still not sure when "eventually" will come. But the whole reason I'm even writing any of this is because my brother-in-law, who I acquired May 22, 2013, suggested I start writing again. However, while he did include the LB series, he mentioned my blogging specifically. He seems to think I have a gift for connecting things in the Bible, such as stories or just different verses, to situations we face in life almost every day. That is what I would like to mainly post about, although I'm sure some posts about the LB series will sneak in from time to time when I finally do pick them back up again.

To end what turned into a slightly longer explanation than expected, I'd like to say thank you for sticking with it and reading the whole post, long as it was, and I hope to see you again in the future. Here's to many more posts and many lives touched!

In Christ,

Esther Faith

First Place...or Back Burner

Sometimes God takes certain people out of our lives so we realize, once again, that He's right there beside us, carrying us every step of the way, and has been the entire time. I think sometimes, when we don't have that person right there beside us to turn to, and there's nobody else right there, we turn to God, because He's always there. And for a time, we grow closer to Him, until the next good friend comes along, then we push God to second or third place on the turn-to-list...until those people disappear. Then we turn back to God again.

Maybe if we just turned to God first when we had a problem or question or worry, then to good friends, not the other way around, a lot of troubles could be avoided, and we might still have those friends for years down the road, not just for a little bit before God directs them down another path so we turn to Him first when we need help, instead of turning to them first. He loves it when we lean on Him and ask for His help. He loves helping His children, and He's always ready to...we just have to ask Him to.

Our Path...or His Path

Sometimes we may not understand why things happen. When hearts get broken, shattered, or crushed, God is always there, holding us up and helping us through, even when it appears nobody is there. He has a plan for each life, whether certain ones run together, next to, or away from each other, and His plan for each person's path is always the best one possible.

What He has in store for us is bigger, better, and brighter than we could ever dream, even though some days the sun just won't shine and the whole world is gloomy and we feel all alone. He's always there, and He wants the best for each of His children..even if that means making them wait a bit before they get it.

So if you're in the spot where God is saying wait a bit, just trust Him, lean on Him, soak up His immense love for you, and wait for Him to reveal His perfect plan for your life. He'll show you in His time, which is always perfect. He loves you too much to give you anything less than the best...so don't settle for less and miss out on His blessings. Trust Him. He knows what He's doing.

A Year Ago...

A year ago today, my sister and I were on our way home from school after tanking up the car. We didn't see the car in front of us turning left, and we didn't stop in time. The vehicle we hit was big enough that it just went right over our bumper and up our hood. Dad was furious, and understandably so. We had just wrecked the only car my sister and I could drive the twenty miles to and from school, and finding a good car nearby for a relatively decent price isn't exactly easy.

In three days, we had found a car online. It was a reasonable price, in good condition without too many miles on it, and it was in the same state.

So we got it.

Six months and five days later...crash! The car was totaled when someone didn't look and turned in front of us. Dad was furious. Again. When we called him and told him we had just been a wreck, you could practically hear the steam coming out of his ears. He got there, and when he realized it wasn't our fault this time, he calmed down. A little. You know how parents are.

We got the first car fixed and back on the road, and I've been driving it all summer long. There have been some very close times that have left me crying, shaking, and barely able to make it to my destination, but so far, the car is still in one piece.

Today, I was driving the same car pictured above, with a new black hood, bumper, fender and mirror, like I always do, and heading home from school. I swung by work and picked up my paycheck, then headed home. On the way out of town, today of all days, one of the two cars in front of me was turning left onto the same road that the vehicle had been a year ago. I almost laughed at the irony of being in the same vehicle, different seat, nearly the same situation, as I was a year ago in the split second before the vehicles collided.

God is amazing. He has watched out for me so many times, and kept me safe through two wrecks, the last one of which should have seriously injured, if not killed me. Sometimes I wonder why He kept me safe and alive and unharmed. What His plan is for my life that He's kept me safe through all of it. Today is one of those times.